A Flute's Perfect Pitch

Q: What is perfect pitch on a flute?
A: When it misses the rim of the toilet as you throw it in.

That Was No Piccolo

Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?" The other replies, "That was no piccolo, that was my wife."

Tie Saplings To A Piano

Q: What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?
A: Root position cords.