That Was No Piccolo

Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?" The other replies, "That was no piccolo, that was my wife."

Tie Saplings To A Piano

Q: What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?
A: Root position cords.

Violin Cloaking Device

Q: How do you keep your violin from getting stolen?
A: Put it in a viola case.