Follow Instructions

When I'm at the opera, I hate those long solo numbers they do. Someone gave me a spray that will make it pass quickly.
The instructions on the bottle read "Spread over a large aria"

Conductor's House

Q: Why are conductors' hearts popular for transplants?
A: They've had little use.

Nice Try

Organized a day of entertainment to try and raise money for charity. The police turned up, shut it down, and closed off the area.
My fete is sealed