Lectropositive Mama

'Lectropositive Mama (tune, Lady Madonna)
'Letropositive mama, Cesium on your meat, Wonder how you manage, To stay on your feet. How d'ya stand the smokin'? How d'ya 'bide the flame? Do you think that life's just A burnin' game. Monday night your hunger's a blue fire, Tuesday morn' you're cookin' 'fore the sun. Wednesday rain, you're only flamin' higher, Having your fun. 'Lectropositive mama, Cinders in your curls, No way can compare you, To ordinary girls. Likin' the explosions, Rock you on your seat. How can any woman handle All that heat? 

George Bernard Shaw

While at a concert being performed by a very bad orchestra, George Bernard Shaw was asked what he'd like them to play next. "Dominoes," he replied.

Conductors Change a Bulb

Q: How many conductors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven. [Indignant nose upturning] Of course, I wouldn't expect you to understand.