Undernourished Flannel

That flannel makes you look particularly undernourished in this garage light.

Close the Blinds

A woman wakes up one morning and open the blinds. Her husband, half-awake, says, "Close those blinds, those little boys over the road can see my naked body." The woman replies, "If those little boys saw your naked body, they'd close their blinds."

Beauty is Only Skin Deep

I’m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?