Old Age Honesty

Two old men in a retirement village were sitting in the reading room and one said to the other, ''How do you really feel? I mean, you're 72 years old, how do you honestly feel?''
''Honestly, I feel like a new born baby. I've got no hair, no teeth, and I just wet myself.''

Closet Time

Q: Why are gay men so well dressed? 
A: They didn't spend all that time in the closet doing nothing.

Pricey Botox

Critics say Botox is too expensive, but I spoke to fifty people who just paid for the treatment, and none of them looked surprised.