Locate your Heart

An old lady's husband had just died and she felt their was no reason to live anymore. She called the doctor and asked exactly where her heart was. He told her it should be under her left breast. That night she went to the emergency room with a gun shot in the knee.

Facelift Technology

A woman wants a facelift and her surgeon tells her about a new procedure. "We put a dial in the back of your head and when your skin starts to sag you simply turn the knob." "That sounds good," she says. Two years later, she goes back and tells the surgeon that the dial is giving her bags under her eyes. "I'm sorry," replies the surgeon, "but those aren't bags -- those are your tits." "Oh," says the woman, "well that explains the goatee."

Bra Sizes

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F are the letters used to define bra sizes? 
A - Almost Boobs
B - Barely there.
C - Can't Complain!
D - Damn!
DD - Double damn!
E - Enormous!
G - GEEEEzus Christ!
F - Fake.