Facelift Technology

A woman wants a facelift and her surgeon tells her about a new procedure. "We put a dial in the back of your head and when your skin starts to sag you simply turn the knob." "That sounds good," she says. Two years later, she goes back and tells the surgeon that the dial is giving her bags under her eyes. "I'm sorry," replies the surgeon, "but those aren't bags -- those are your tits." "Oh," says the woman, "well that explains the goatee."

Bra Sizes

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F are the letters used to define bra sizes? 
A - Almost Boobs
B - Barely there.
C - Can't Complain!
D - Damn!
DD - Double damn!
E - Enormous!
G - GEEEEzus Christ!
F - Fake.

Worth Trying

A very well-built young lady was lying on her psychiatrist's couch, telling him how frustrated she was. "I tried to be an actress and failed," she complained. "I tried to be a secretary and failed; I tried being a writer and failed; then I tried being a sales clerk and I failed at that, too."
The shrink thought for a moment and said, "Everyone needs to live a full, satisfying life. Why don't you try nursing?"
The girl thinks about this, then bares one of her large, beautiful breasts, points it at the shrink, and says, "Well go ahead, I'll give it a try!"