Buying My First Condom

The first time I went to a drug store to buy condoms, I was waited on by a beautiful young woman. She asked what size I wanted and I said I wasn't sure. So she asked how big I was and I said, "Compared to what?" She held up one finger and asked if I was that big. I said, "I'm bigger than that." Then she held up two fingers and asked if I was that big. I said, "I'm bigger than that." Then she held up three fingers and asked if I was that big. I said, "I'm about that big." She put the three fingers in her mouth and said, "You're a medium."

Yo Momma - BVDs

Yo mama's so fat, when she put on some BVD's by the time they reached her waist they spelled "BouleVarD."

Guy With a Little Head

This guy with a really small head walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why is your head so small?" He replies, "I was stuck on this island and there was nothing but beautiful women there who had never seen a man before. So I had sex with all of them. Their leader, who was the most beautiful of all, had the power to grant anybody who pleased her people one wish, and she said I could have that wish. So I asked her to have sex with me. she said she would grant me anything but that, so I said, "Would a little head be out of the question?"