Health Club Membership

Several members of a health club were having their first meeting. The director of the group said, "Now, I'd like each of you to describe your daily routine." Each member spoke, and shared their good and bad habits. Then one obviously overweight member said, "I eat moderately, I drink moderately and I exercise frequently." "Hmm…" said the director. "And are you sure you have nothing else to add?" "Well, yes," said the member. "I lie extensively."

Yo Mama - Sandbox

Yo mama so ugly, when she was a kid, cats tried to bury her in the sandbox.

Famous Movie Star

"You remind me of a famous movie star." "Really? Which one?" "Lassie."