Blondes and Shrimps

Q: What do blondes and shrimps have in common?
A: Their heads are full of shit, but the pink bits are nice.

The Essential Difference

One day the zoo-keeper noticed that "Cheech" the orangutang was reading two books -- the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books?" "Well," said the orangutang, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."

A Condom And A Rattlesnake

What would you do if you had a condom with a hole in it in one pocket, and a rattle snake in the other pocket? I don't know either, but I do know that I wouldn't screw with either one of them.