Safari With the Family

A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in- law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."

With Relish And Onions

Q: What's white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A: A hot frog!

Missus with a Pit Bull

Q: What do you get if you cross your missus with a pit bull?
A: Your very last head job.