A Hippo What?

3 elderly gentlemen were sitting on a park bench discussing what the meanest animal in the world was. The first said, "The meanest animal in the world is a Hippopotamus, cause it's got such big jowls. One bite and your gone." The second shook his head and said  "Nah, hippo may be mean, but ain't nothing meaner than an alligator. He got a big mouth and all them teeth, snap ?, one bite, ha, one swallow, you gone." The third gentleman sat for a moment, and finally he spoke and said, " No sir, the meanest aninmal in the world is a hippagator." The other two in disbelief inquired as to what in the world is a hippagator, believing there was no such animal. The gentleman slowly began to explain, "A hippagator got a hippo head on one end, and an 'gator head on the other" "WAIT !"  interrupted the others, "If he has a head on both ends, How does he shit ?" The reply was simply, "He don't, that's what makes him so mean".

Teddy for Hire

Q:  How do you hire a teddy bear?
A: Put him on stilts!

Taking Care of the Coyotes

Fed up with failure in preventing coyotes from killing his sheep, a rancher brought out his rifle to eliminate the pack. Suddenly, a federal bureaucrat rushed up and breathlessly screamed, "Wait, there's no need to do that. We've developed a new drug that renders them impotent." "I don't know what y`all do in Washington," drawled the rancher taking aim again, "but out here the coyotes eat the sheep."