Lawyers for Experiments

Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats?
A: They don't become so attached to the lawyers.

Fox to a Bulldog

Q: How do you turn a fox into a bulldog?
A: Marry her.

Definition of Panda

A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves".