Women Need Four Animals

A woman needs only four animals in her life: a mink on her back, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass to pay for it all.

Toad Greetings

Q:  What do you say if you meet a toad?
A:  Wart's new!

King of the Jungle

Three animals were having a huge argument over who was the best.
The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey had hardly a chance.
The second,a lion, based his claim on his strength. No animal in the forest dared to challenge him.
The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor strength to frighten off any animal using his unique arsenal.
As the trio debated the issue, a grizzly bear came along and swallowed them all: hawk, lion, and stinker!