Skunk and Bear

Q: What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
A: Winnie the Pooh!

Great Reason to Drink Beer

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members. In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker braincells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

The Bear and The Rabbit

A bear is chasing a rabbit through a forest. They find a bottle and decide to rub it. A genie pops out. He says "I will grant each of you three wishes." The bear says "I wish that all of the bears in the forest were females." **POOF** It is done.The rabbit says "I wish for a motorcycle." **POOF** It is done. The bear says "I wish all the bears in this country were females." **POOF** It is done.The rabbit says "I wish for a lifetime supply of carrots back at my house." **POOF** It is done. The bear thought to himself "Why is the rabbit wasting his wishes on stupid small things?" Finally, the bear says "For my third wish, I wish that all the bears in the world were female." **POOF** It is done. The rabbit says "For MY last wish, I wish for the bear to be gay" and he rode off on his motorcycle.