The Best Book On Elephants

The UN sponsored a competition on which nation can produce the best book on elephants. The British submited a dry historical account "The Elephant and the British Empire." The French submited a text  "The Sensuality of the Elephant -- a Personal Account." The Germans submited 47 Volumes entitled "An Elementary Introduction to the Foundation of the Science of the Elephant's Ear." The Americans submited an article from "Money" magazine: "Elephants -- the Perfect Tax Shelter for the 80s". Green-Peace submited a counter-entry "Elephants -- they're better than People" The Russians submited a terse manuscript titled  "The superiority of the Soviet Elephant" and submited a poem "The Joy and Freedom Brought forth by the Soviet Elephant." But the Japanese won with their Promotional Flier  "We have no Elephants but wouldn't you want to buy a Honda instead"

In A Elephant Graveyard

Q: What do you find in an elephants graveyard?
A: Elephantoms!

Two Thousand and Pinches

Q: What weighs 2,000 pounds and pinches?
A: An elephant wearing a tight tuxedo.