Uniform And Medals

Q: What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals?
A:  A guard dog!

Beware of Dog!

Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying "DANGER; BEWARE OF DOG!" posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" "Yep, that's him," he replied. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because", the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."

Thought He Was a Dog

After years with a psychiatrist, a man who thought he was a dog was declared cured. A friend asked him how he felt now. The former patient replied, "Fine! Just feel my nose."