Paddy the Drunkard

Paddy was an incurable drunkard. The priest met him one day, and gave him a strong lecture about drink. He said, "If you continue drinking as you do, you'll gradually get smaller and smaller, and eventually you'll turn into a mouse." This frightened the life out of Paddy. He went home that night, and said to his wife, "Bridget....if you should notice me getting smaller and smaller, will ye kill that blasted cat?"

Talking Cat

Q: What is cleverer than a talking cat?
A: A spelling bee!

Cat and Gorilla

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla?
A: An animal that puts you out at night!