Yo Mama - Uptight

Yo mama is so uptight, when she farts, only dogs can hear it.

Catch Up

A passenger train is creeping along, finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes it's slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"

Flies to Change Lightbulb

Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two, but I don't know how they got in there.