Bug Love

Q: Did you hear about the two bed bugs that met in the mattress?
A: They were married in the spring.

Psychiatric Service Dog

I travel with a service dog.
When people ask what my dogs service is, I say, "She keeps me from killing people who ask too many questions!"

Persistency Act

A guy hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up, and no one is there. He looks all around and he finally sees a little snail sitting on the doormat. He picks it up and throws it across the street into a field. Ten years go by and one day he hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up and no one is there.  He looks all around, and he finally sees a little snail sitting on the doormat. The snail looks up and says, "What the hell was that all about?"