Psychiatric Service Dog

I travel with a service dog.
When people ask what my dogs service is, I say, "She keeps me from killing people who ask too many questions!"

Persistency Act

A guy hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up, and no one is there. He looks all around and he finally sees a little snail sitting on the doormat. He picks it up and throws it across the street into a field. Ten years go by and one day he hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up and no one is there.  He looks all around, and he finally sees a little snail sitting on the doormat. The snail looks up and says, "What the hell was that all about?"

Killed Your Rooster!

A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car followed by a large cloud of feathers. Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse, and rang the door bell. A farmer appeared. The man, somewhat nervously said, "I think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him" ."Suit yourself,"  the farmer replied, "the hens are round the back."