Bugs With Attitude

Q:  What's yellow, wiggles and is dangerous?
A: A maggot with attitude!

Bear Logic

Two campers were hiking in the forest when all of a sudden a bear jumps out of a bush and starts chasing them. Both campers start running for their lives, when one of them stops and starts to put on his running shoes. His partner says, "What are you doing? You can't outrun a bear!" His friend replies, "I don't have to outrun the bear, I only have to outrun you!"

Don't Look at Me

I had to go next door and watch my neighbor’s cat while he was away. Now there’s a great pile of crap and a puddle of pee on his kitchen floor . Hopefully, he’ll think the cat did it.