Does He Bite

A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?" "No."A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg. "I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly. "That's not my dog."

Green Jumper

Q. What is green and can jump a mile in a minute?
A. A grasshopper with hiccups!

Camel Betting

Two guys are on duty at a french foreign legion fort. One says to the other one, "See that camel over there? I'll bet you I can make him jump 30 feet in the air. The other guy says "No way". The first guy walks around to the back of the camel with two bricks, reaches in between the camel's legs and crashes the bricks together. The camel jumps 30 feet in the air. A couple of days later the first guy says to the second guy, "I bet you I can make that camel nod his head yes, then shake his head no." The second guy says, "You got me last time, but there's no way you can make that dumb animal nod his head yes then shake it no." The first guy takes the same two bricks, walks around to the front of the camel, holds up the bricks and says, "Remember what I did last time?". (Camel nods). "Want me to do it again?"