Overloaded

A British Airways flight was headed towards Jamaica when the pilot makes an announcement; "Ladies and Gentlemen, our planes seems to be overloaded and we seem to be losing altitude. We will be offloading some baggage to help us on our way"... Half an hour later the pilot makes another announcement; "Ladies and Gentlemen we are still overweight and we regret to inform you we will be offloading passengers, but to be fair we will be doing it in alphabetical order"

"Will all Africans come to the front? Now can the Blacks, Coons and Darkies follow them?"

At the back of the plane a black man and his kid are ducked down looking nervous, the son says to his dad, "Dad, aren't we all of those people?" To which the father replies in a whisper, "yes son, but today we are NIGGERS"

Blind Pilot Flys Plane?

I was flying from San Francisco to Los Angeles.  By the time we took off, there had been a 45-minute delay and everybody on board was ticked. Unexpectedly, we stopped in Sacramento on the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be another 45-minute delay, and if we wanted to get off the aircraft, we would reboard in thirty minutes.  Everybody got off the plane except one gentleman who was blind. I noticed him as I walked by and could tell he had flown before because his seeing eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of him throughout the entire flight.  I could also tell he had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached him and, calling him by name, said, "Keith, we're in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?"  Keith replied, "No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs. Would you take him for me please?"  Now picture this. All the people in the gate area came to a completely quiet standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a seeing eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses that day. People scattered not only trying to change planes but also trying to change airlines!

Lucky Seat

A man and a woman are sitting beside each other in the first class section of the plane. The woman sneezes, takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose, and shudders quite violently in her seat. The man isn't sure why she is shuddering and goes back to reading. A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders quite violently in her seat. He turns to the woman and says, "Twice you've sneezed and twice you've taken a tissue and wiped your nose then shuddered violently! Are you sending me signals, or are you going crazy?" The woman replies, "I'm sorry if I disturbed you. I have a rare condition and when I sneeze, I have an orgasm." The man, now feeling a little embarrassed but even more curious says, "I've never heard of that before. What are you taking for it?" The woman looks at him and says, "Pepper."