School Trouble

My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's three schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."

DOA Kitty

A kindergarten student told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?" the teacher yelled in shock. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

Old Never Dies 12

OLD TEACHERS never die, they just lose their class
OLD TELEPHONES never die, they just stop ringing
OLD THERMODYNAMICISTS never die, they just achieve their state -- of maximum entropy
OLD TIRE TUBES never die, they just get punctured
OLD TRASH never dies, they just bury it
OLD TRIGONOMETRY TEACHERS never die, they just lose their identities
OLD TROMBONISTS never die - they just slide away...
OLD TRUCK DRIVERS never die; they just get a new Peterbilt
OLD TV SHOWS never die, they just get rerun on Nickelodeon
OLD TV SOAP STARS never die, they become pathetic
OLD GOAL UMPIRES never die, they just get flagged down -- umpires as in Australian Rules Football
OLD USENETTERS never die, they just become unresponsive
OLD VACATIONERS never die, they just don't come back
OLD VIOLINISTS never die - they just become unstrung.
OLD VOICEMAIL SYSTEMS never die, they just stop answering