Airplane In Trouble

First man: Hey did you know that my airplane got caught in a heavy storm. The engine was leaking and it was raining.
Second Man: Then it is a miracle that you landed safely on the ground and nothing happened to you.
First Man: Who said the airplane was flying?!!

Pilot Difference

Q: What's the difference between American and Serbian pilots?
A: American pilots break ground and fly into the wind!

Piloting your Plane

An F-111 was flying escort with a B-52 and generally making a nuisance of himself by flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber.  The message for the B-52 crew was, "Anything you can do, I can do better."  Not to be outdone, the bomber pilot announced that he would rise to the challenge.  The B-52 continued its flight, straight and level, however.  Perplexed, the fighter pilot asked, "So? What did you do?" "We just shut down two engines."