What Can I Get?

A man walks into a pharmacy and goes to the counter. Standing behind the counter is a young woman. "May I speak to the pharmacist?" he asks. "Well," she replies, "I am the pharmacist." He looks very uncomfortable, and asks for a *male* pharmacist, as he has a "male problem." She informs him that only she and her sister work at this particular establishment. He blushes and says, "Well, I really do need help, so I guess I'll ask you... I have a problem. I have a constant erection, and nothing I do seems to get rid of it. It's been like this for three months now. Can you give me anything for it?" The woman looks thoughtful, and says, "Hold on, I'll go in back and ask my sister." After a couple of minutes she returns and says, "We'll give you half of the business and it's profits, but that's all we can give you for it..."

First Time

I recall my first time with a condom. I was 14 . I went in to buy a packet of condoms at Bernen's pharmacy.
In those days it took a lot of guts to go in a store and ask for that kind of item because everyone in town knew me and there was no doubt the young lady (I think her name was Carol) knew what they were for.
She was working as an assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was really embarrassed by the whole procedure.
She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, 'No, not really.'
So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. Apparently I still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it were empty. It was. 'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. 'Do these excite you?' She asked. 
Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was stand there with my mouth open and nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. 'Well, come on', she said, 'We don't have much time.' So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful that, unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few moments.
She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that condom on?' she asked. I said, 'sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.
She then beat the shit out of me.... Women have always been hard for me to figure out !

Cough Cure

Outside a pharmacy in a busy street, a poor man is clutching onto a pole for dear life - not breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle - just standing there, frozen.
The pharmacist, seeing this strange sight in front of his shop, goes up to his assistant and asks, "What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?"
Assistant replies, "Yes he was. He had the most terrible cough and none of my prescriptions seemed to help."
Pharmacist says, "He seems to be fine now."
Assistant replies, "Sure, he is. I gave him a box of the strongest laxatives on the market... Now he won't dare cough!"