Additional Business One Liners

• A stagnant science is at a standstill.
• A theory is better than its explanation.
• A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.
• A well-adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.
• Ability is a good thing but stability is even better.
• Ability is like a check, it has no value unless it is cashed.
• Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it is out of date.)
• According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
• According to the official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless.
• Adding manpower to a late software product makes it later.

Ten Business One Liners

• The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train.
• The longer the title the less important the job.
• The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.
• The meek shall inherit the earth, but only after we're done with it.
• The meek shall inherit the earth, but not it's mineral rights.
• The moment for calm and rational discussion is past; now is the time for senseless bickering.
• The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs.
• The more directives you issue to solve a problem, the worse it gets.
• The more ridiculous a belief system, the higher probability of its success.
• The more things change, the more they stay insane.

NASA Techs to Change Lightbulb

Q: How many NASA technicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Seventy, and they plan it for two weeks and when they finally get around to it the weather's bad so they postpone it till next week. The lightbulb costs three million dollars.