Tell What Happened

The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole. Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness. "Exactly where were you at the time of the accident?" inquired the officer. "Mister," exclaimed the telephone lineman, "I was at the top of the pole!"

Arriving in Heaven

Three men die and go to heaven and queue to meet St. Peter.
St. Peter: "Hi, what's your name?"
Paul: "My name is Paul."
St. Peter: "Hi, Paul. Tell me, when you died, how much were you earning?"
Paul: "120K."
St. Peter: "Wow! Tell me, Paul, what were you doing to earn that kind of money?"
Paul: "I was a lawyer."
St. Peter: "That's great. Come on in." 
St. Peter then turned to the second man. "Hi, what's your name?"
Roger: "My name is Roger."
St. Peter: "Hi, Roger. Tell me, when you died, how much were you earning?"
Roger: "60K."
St. Peter: "Hey, that's great! Tell me, Roger:, what did you do for a living?"
Roger: "I was an accountant."
St. Peter: "That's very good. Come on in." 
St. Peter then turned to the third man. "Hi, what's your name?"
John: "My name is John."
St. Peter: "Hi, John. Tell me, John, how much were you earning when you died?"
John: "About $23,000."
St. Peter: "Hey, that's fantastic, John! Tell me, what instrument did you play?"

Programmer's Drinking Song

99 little bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code, Fix one bug, compile it again, 101 little bugs in the code. 101 little bugs in the code, 101 bugs in the code, Fix one bug, compile it again,103 little bugs in the code.