Newfoundland Fisherman Burial

This elderly Newfoundland fisherman is on his deathbed and summons his 3 sons to his bedside. "Well boys, the time is near, and when I pass I'd like to be buried at sea." So the boys agreed. A few days after his passing, the local front page read, "Local Fishermen Were Shocked Today When Their Nets Brought in Patrick McRay in a Coffin, 3 Shovels and the Bodies of His Three Sons... Funeral arrangements haven't yet been made, however, it is believed all wished to be buried at sea."

Light Bulb - Waiter

Q: How many waiters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, even a burned out bulb can't catch a waiter's eye.

Corporate Booty Call - 401K

Baby, you are 401Kute!