Profession Jokes

Airport Security - Booty Call

Sorry, no creams or liquids allowed, but if you leave your liquids here, I'll make you cream later.

Anonymous

IRS Agents Into Heaven

Two income tax collectors died and arrived at the pearly gates. Just ahead of them were two clergy, but St. Peter motioned them aside and took the internal revenue into heaven at once. "Why them ahead of us?" the surprised religious leaders asked. "Haven't we done everything possible to spread the good word?" "Yes," said St. Peter, "but those two IRS agents scared the Heck out of more people than you ever did!"

Anonymous

A Forester And A Lawyer

A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together. St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates and takes them to the homes where they will spend all of eternity. They get into St. Peter's holy vehicle and head on down a gold road, which turns into a platinum road, which turns onto an even grander road paved with diamonds, to a huge mansion where St. Peter turns to the lawyer and says, "here is your home for the rest of eternity, enjoy!"  And "if there is anything you need, just let me know." Then St. Peter took the forester to his home, back down the diamond studded boulevard, down the platinum highway, down the street of gold, down an avenue of silver, along a stone alley and down an unpaved footpath to a shack. St Peter says "Here you go" and goes to leave when the forester says "Wait a minute!, how come the lawyer gets the big mansion and I get this shack?" St. Peter says: "Well, Foresters are a dime a dozen here, we have never had a lawyer before."

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Anonymous
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