My Dad's the Best

Three young boys were fighting over whose dad was the best.
"My dad is so good he can shoot an arrow, run after it, get in front of it, and catch it in his bare hands." "My dad is so good that he can shoot a gun, run after the bullet, get in front of it and catch it in his bare hands." "I've got you both beat. My dad's so good because he works for the city. He gets off work at 5:00 and is home by 4:30."

Statistician in the Bathroom

Q: How do you tell one bathroom full of statisticians from another?
A: Check the p-value.

Fortune

Q: What do you get when you cross a fortune teller with a prostitute?
A: Your whore-oscope!