That Hurts

At the Doctor's, a young woman said to her doctor, "You have to help me, I hurt all over." "What do you mean?" said the doctor. The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe. "Ow, even THAT hurts." The doctor asked the woman, "Are you a natural blonde?" "Why yes," she said. "I thought so," said the doctor. "You have a sprained finger."

Food For Thought

Patient: Doctor, you've gotta help me. I eat apples, apples later come out into the toilet. I eat bananas, bananas come out."
Doctor: That's easy. Eat shit!

Can I Play The Piano?

A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?" "I don't see why not," replies the doctor."That's funny," says the man. "I wasn't able to play it before."