Father and Son ... Who Scratched the Car?

Somewhere in America, next week...
Dad:  Son, come in here, we need to talk.
Son: What's up, Dad?
Dad: There's a scratch down the side of the car. Did you do it?
Son: I don't believe, if I understand the definition of "scratch the car", that I can say, truthfully, that I did not scratch the car.
Dad: Well, it wasn't there yesterday, and you drove the car last night, and no one else has driven it since. How can you explain the scratch?
Son: Well, as I've said before, I have no recollection of scratching the car. While it is true that I did take the car out last night, I did not scratch it.
Dad: But your sister, Monica, has told me she saw you back the car against the mailbox at the end of the driveway, heard a loud scraping sound, saw you get out to examine the car, and then drive away. So again I'll ask you, yes or no, did you scratch the car?
Son: Oh, you mean you think you have evidence to prove I scratched it. Well, you see, I understood you to mean did "I" scratch the car. I stand by my earlier statement, that I did not scratch the car.
Dad: Are you trying to tell me you didn't drive the car into the mailbox?
Son: Well, you see sir, I was trying to drive the car into the street. I mishandled the steering of the car, and it resulted in direct contact with the mailbox, though that was clearly not my intent.
Dad: So you are then saying that you did hit the mailbox?
Son: No sir, that's not my statement. I'll refer you back to my original statement that I did not scratch the car.
Dad: But the car did hit the mailbox, and the car did get scratched as a result of this contact?
Son: Well, yes, I suppose you could look at it that way.
Dad: So you lied to me when you said you did not scratch car?
Son: No. No, that's not correct. Your question was "Did I scratch the car?". From a strict legal definition, as I understood the meaning of that sentence, I did not scratch the car... the mailbox did... I was merely present when the scratching occurred. So my answer of "No" when you asked "Did I scratch the car" was legally correct, although I did not volunteer information.
Dad: Where did you learn to talk like a complete idiot?
Son: From President Clinton.

Lawyer's Daughter

Q: What did a lawyer name his daughter?
A: Sue!!

Tough Law

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.
As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, "What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it."  And on and on and on.
Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.
While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Edward Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all.
Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.
As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.
"They're not hanging Wright tonight," she said.
He whirled around and screamed, "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?"