Like A Cow

The judicial process is like a cow. The public is impaled on its horns, the government has it by the tail, and all the while the lawyers are milking it.

Drunk on Trial

A drunk appears in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says, "Okay, let's get started!"

Things You Should Not Say To A Judge

1. "I got your community service right here pal!"
2. "Boy your chamber sure does look different with the lights on."
3. "You couldn't carry Wapner's gavel you moron!"
4. "You're not as easy to buy as others said you were."
5. "No you robe wearing geek."
6. "I don't suppose there's a "You get me off, I get you off" type of deal out there?"
7. "Just out of curiousity, are you wearing pants?"