Profession Jokes - Entertainer Jokes

Q: How do you tell if an apology isn't sincere?

A: The words 'conflate' and 'misremember' are involved in the excuse.

Bob is throwing a party. He decides that, to break the ice at his party, he'll ask his guests what their I.Q. is -- hopefully this will strike up an appropriate conversation from there. The day of Bob's party rolls around, and when the first guest knocks on the door, Bob asks the person what her I.Q. is. "200,000" replies the first guest. "Well, that's great," says Bob, let's talk about ethereal astro physics. Bob and this first guest talk about the aforementioned subject for a while. Later in the party, someone else is at the door. "Hi my name is Bob; welcome to my party, what's your I.Q.?" The new guest responds with "250". "Great," says Bob. "Lets talk about advanced math. Bob and his new guest talk about calculus and statistics for awhile. Much later in the party, after many more guests had arrived and been spoken to by Bob, yet another guest arrives at the door. "Hi, my name's Bob; welcome to my party, what's your I.Q.?" This time the guest replies after putting some thought into it "five". "Well, that's great," says Bob, "what kind of drumsticks do you use?"

Q: Why are organists like a broken-winded cab horse?

A: They are always longing for another stop.

Q: Why are a organist's fingers like lightning?

A: Because they rarely strike the same place twice.

Q: What do you get if you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A: A flat miner.

Q: What do you get if you drop an organ on an army base?

A: A flat major.

Q: Why is an 11-foot concert grand better than a studio upright?

A: It makes a louder noise, when you drop it off a cliff.

Q: Why was the organ invented?

A: So the musician would have a place to put his beer.

Q: What does a German Hammond organist do in his life's most tender moments?

A: He puts his Leslie on "slow".