Librarian GPS

OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just lose their references.

Mr. Schneider in Court.

Mr. Schneider stood up in court. "As God is my judge, I do not owe my ex-wife any money".  Glaring down at him, the judge replied, "He's not. I am. You do."

Circus Lion Tamer in Training

A man told the ringmaster that he was interested in joining the circus as a lion tamer. The ringmaster asked if he had any experience. The man said, "Why, yes. My father was one of the most famous lion tamers in the world, and he taught me everything he knew." "Really?" said the ringmaster. "Did he teach you how to make a lion jump through a flaming hoop?" "Yes he did," the man replied. "And did he teach you how to have six lions form a pyramid?" "Yes he did," the man replied. "And have you ever stuck your head in a lion's mouth?" "Just once," the man replied. The ringmaster asked, "Why only once?" The man said, "I was looking for my father."