Eskimos on the Toilet

Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the toilet too long?
A: Polaroids!

First Lady's Patriotic Duties

Q: What do George Bush's wife and the American flag have in common?
A: They both go down in the name of the president.

Think Quality

A lady swallowed a super Gillette razor blade and her doctor discovered that not only had she given herself a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy and a hysterectomy, but she had also castrated her husband, circumcised her lover, taken two fingers off a casual acquaintance, and given a vicar a hair lip. And, there were still 5 shaves left!