Profession Jokes

A Henpecked Husband

A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don't have to let your wife bully you," he said. "Go home and show her you're the boss." The husband decided to take the doctor's advice. He went home, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife's face, and growled, "From now on you're taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs and lay out my clothes. Tonight I am going out with the boys. You are going to stay at home where you belong. Another thing, you know who is going to tie my bow tie?" "I certainly do," said his wife calmly, "the undertaker."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Eat Properly

A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. "What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor. The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Witch Doctor Dancer

Q: How does a witch-doctor ask a girl to dance?
A: "Voodoo like to dance with me?"

Anonymous
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