Always the Lawyer

A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered 'no' to the question. The next question, intended for those who answered the preceding question with a 'yes', was "why?" Nevertheless, the lawyer answered it, "Never got caught."

Med Examination

A woman comes to a gynecologist for a checkup. She seems to be very embarrassed and uncomfortable."Haven't you been examined like this before?" asks the doctor. "Many times," she giggles, "but never by doctor!"

A Fair Deal

A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.