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Profession Jokes
College Girl Visits The Doctor
A young woman goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies. A couple of days later, another young woman comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue "Y" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies. A couple of days later, another young woman comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green "M" on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask?"
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Businessman's Payback
An abrasive businessman in the hospital constantly berates the medical staff. Only the head nurse will stand up to him. One day she tells him, "I have to take your temperature. I'm sorry, but for this reading, I cannot use an oral thermometer." This starts rounds of complaining, but eventually the man rolls over and bares his rear end. After the nurse inserts the thermometer, she announces, "I have to get something. Now you stay just like that until I get back." She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under his breath as he hears people walk past his door laughing. The man's doctor comes into the room, "What's going on here?" Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" After a pause, the doctor says, "Well, no, not with a carnation, anyway."
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Bad Bribe
Shultz, a lawyer, bribed a man on the jury to hold out for a charge of manslaughter, as opposed to the charge of murder which was brought by the prosecution. The jury was out for nearly a week before they returned to court with the manslaughter verdict. When Shultz paid the juror, he asked him if it had been hard to persuade the other jurors to get the charge of manslaughter. "Sure did," the juror replied, "all the others wanted to acquit him!"
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