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Profession Jokes
Mail in a Small Town
The owner of a small crossroads store in South Carolina was appointed postmaster. Over six months went by and not one piece of mail left town. Deeply concerned, postal authorities in Washington wrote the postmaster to inquire why. They received this short and simple explanation, "The bag ain't full yet."
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Who Handles The Case?
Nugent needed legal advice, so he walked into the office of Gregory, Ellis and Gregory. Nugent sat down at the desk of the senior member of the firm. "If you're not really in bad trouble, I'll take the case," said Gregory. "If you're in a real jam and want to get out of it, my partner will handle it. If, on the other hand, you're not involved and want to get in trouble, my son, who just graduated from law school, will take it!"
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Texas Plastic Surgeons
Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best plastic surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England." One of the others said. "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in 5 field events in the Olympics." The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now he's president of the United States."
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