Ain't She Cute

Father: (at hospital looking through glass at newly arrived babies) "Kitchy kitchy koo. Look, she smiled... isn't she cute?"
Friend: "But your kid didn't smile."
Father: "I was talking about the nurse."

Lawyer Stamps?

The US government is throwing away millions of unused stamps with pictures of favorite lawyers on them. The people that use them don’t know which side to spit on!

Mail in a Small Town

The owner of a small crossroads store in South Carolina was appointed postmaster. Over six months went by and not one piece of mail left town. Deeply concerned, postal authorities in Washington wrote the postmaster to inquire why.  They received this short and simple explanation, "The bag ain't full yet."