Where Do You Live?

A cop pulled up two Irish drunks, and asked to the first, "What's your name and address?" "I'm Paddy O'Day, of no fixed address." The cop turned to the second drunk, and asked the same question. "I'm Seamus O'Toole, and I live in the flat above Paddy."

Three Surgeons

Once there were three surgeons engaged in conversation. They got on the topic of their occupation and each stated who they liked to operate on. The first doctor said, "I like to work on electricians." "Why?" the others replied. He answered, "When you open them up, they are all color coded so you know where everything goes." The second doctor said, "I like to work on librarians." "Why?"  the other doctors asked. He replied, "Librarians are all organized in a sophisticated pattern." The third doctor said, "Well, I like to work on lawyers."  "Lawyers?!" replied the others surprised. "Yes, Lawyers" he stated. "But why?" they asked him. "Well, they are gutless, they have no spine, and their heads and butts are inter-changeable."

Wordsmithing

A new mortuary in a tough mill town decided to advertise in an unorthodox fashion and so draped a banner on the front of their building that read, "Our Staff will stuff your Stiff." 
Not to be outdone, the madame across the street had her girls respond with a banner too saying,"Our Stuff will stiff your Staff."