Lawyers on a jury

A trial had been scheduled in a small town, but the court clerk had forgotten to call in a jury panel. Rather than adjourning what he thought was an exceptionally simple case, the judge ordered his bailiff to go through the courthouse and round up enough people to form a jury. The bailiff returned with a group of lawyers. The prosecutor felt that it would be an interesting experiment to try a case before a jury of lawyers and the defense counsel had no objection, so a jury was impaneled.
The trial went very quickly -- after only an hour of testimony, and very short closing arguments, both sides rested. The jury was then instructed by the judge, and was sent back to the jury room to deliberate. After nearly six hours, the trial court was concerned that the jury had not returned with a verdict. The case had in fact turned out to be every bit as simple as he had expected, and it seemed to him that they should have been back in minutes. He sent the bailiff to the jury room, to see if they needed anything. The bailiff returned, and the judge asked, "Are they close to reaching a verdict?"  The bailiff shook his head, and replied, "You're honor, they're still doing nomination speeches for the position of foreman."

Farm Funny

Q: What do you call jokes told by a farmers?
A: Corny

Ferrari Touch

A lady walks into a Texas Ferrari dealership. Her eyes light up when she sees the new F12 Berlinetta and she walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a red shirted Ferrari employee standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the sales specialist greets the lady with, "Good day, Madam. How may we help you?" Hoping he wasn't there at the time of her accident, she asks, "Sir, how much are you asking for this incredible vehicle?" He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you are going to shit yourself when I tell you the price."