Old Rabbit and Snake

One day there was a rabbit and a snake who were both growing old and could not remember what animal they were. "OK I'll describe you and then see if you can guess what you are," said the snake. "That's a good idea," said the rabbit. "You are white, fluffy, and you have big ears and feet," said the snake. "Oh good, I'm a rabbit! So the rabbit says, "You are long, slim, and have a forked tongue." "OH NO, I'm a lawyer!"

Deal With It

Patient: "Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards!"
Doctor: "I'll deal with you later."

Eye Pain

Patient: Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee!
Doc: Have you ever tried it by taking the spoon out first?