Knockout Decisions

Before my surgery, my anesthetist offered to knock me out with either gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation

Blind Farmer

The blind farmer was often taken for a walk in the fields by a kind neighbor. However kindly the neighbor might have been, he was undoubtedly a coward. When a bull charged towards them one day, he abandoned the blind man. The bull, puzzled by a lack of fear, nudged the farmer in the back. He turned very quickly, caught the bull by the horns and threw it to the ground with a bump that left it breathless. "Aidan," said the neighbor, "I never knew you were so strong."
"Faith, and if I could have got that fella off the handlebars of the bicycle I'd have thrashed him properly."

Politician and Screwdriver

Q: What's the difference between a politician and a screwdriver?
A: A screwdriver turns in screws, while politicians screw interns.