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Word Play Jokes - Private Parts
A Proper Name
While away at a convention, an executive happened to meet a young woman who was pretty and intelligent. When he persuaded her to disrobe in his hotel room, he found out she had a superb body as well. Unfortunately, the executive found himself unable to perform. On his first night home, the executive walked from the shower into the bedroom to find his wife covered in a rumpled bathrobe, her hair curled, her face creamed, munching candy loudly while she pored through a movie magazine. Then, without warning, he felt the onset of a magnificent erection. Looking down at this, he snarled, "Why you ungrateful, mixed-up son of a bitch. Now I know why they call you a prick!"
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How to Pick Up Women
There were two guys who wanted to pick up women on a beach. One was Italian (Luca) and the other was Russian (Vladimir). Luca had no problem picking up gorgeous women. He was the most popular guy on the beach. But Vladimir had no success.
Vladimir: "Luca! How do you do it? How do you attract so many beautiful women?"
Luca: "Well, I'll tell ya! But it's a secret, just between you and me. I don't want my system to become too public."
Vladimir: "OK. It's a deal."
Luca: "You see those potatoes over there? Well, every time I come to the beach I take one and put it in my Speedo. When the women see it, they come running from miles around."
Vladimir: "That's it? I can do that."
The next day, Vladimir went over to the produce stand and picked out the biggest, most perfectly shaped potato he could find. He then went into the changing room and slipped it into his Speedo. As he walked out onto the beach, he immediately noticed that women and men began to notice him. "It's working, he thought." But soon he began to realize that they were not looking interested but rather upset, almost disgusted by the sight of him. He rushed over to Luca and asked, "Luca, what's the problem? Why isn't it working?"
Luca: "Because you're supposed to put the potato in the FRONT!!"
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Refrigerated Pussy
On the eve of her wedding, the bride- to- be confessed to her best friend that she was worried about her husband finding out that she wasn't a virgin. "No problem," said the friend. "Just go out and buy yourself a nice piece of liver and put it up inside you just before you have sex. You'll feel nice and tight and he'll never know the difference." She went ahead and followed her friend's advice. On her wedding night, she and her new husband went wild. They did it in the tub, they did it on the floor, they did it just about everywhere. The bride woke up the next morning and found her new hubby was gone and all that was left was a note that read: Sweetheart, I love you very much. I feel terrible about what has happened. I can't go on after this, and I know now that we can never have a life together. Goodbye darling.P.S: ...Your pussy is in the refrigerator!
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