Men & Public Toilets

Ok guys, own up...which one are you?

• Excitable Type - Pants are twisted, cannot find hole, rips pants in anger.
• Sociable Type - Joins pals for a pee whether he wants one or not.
• Timid Type - Cannot pee if anyone is watching, pretends he has been and sneaks back later.
• Nosy Type - Peeps over partition to have a look at the other fellow's thingy.
• Indifferent Type - All urinals being occupied, uses sink.
• Clever Type - Pees without holding tool, shows off by adjusting tie at the same time, pees on foot.
• Vain Type - Undoes 5 buttons when 2 will do.
• Absent-Minded Type - Opens jacket, takes out tie, pees in pants.
• Worried Type - Is not quite sure what he has been up to lately, makes a furtive but close inspection of tool while peeing.
• Disgruntled Type - Stands for a while, grunts, farts, tries to pee, fails, farts again and walks out muttering.
• Conceited Type - Holds 2-inch tool like a baseball bat while peeing.
• Sneaky Type - Drops silent farts while peeing and looks at the guy next to him.
• Sloppy Type - Pees on shoe, walks out with flies undone, adjusts himself ten minutes later.
• Learned Type - Reads a book or newspaper while peeing.
• Childish Type - Watches bubbles at bottom of the urinal while peeing.
• Efficient Type - Waits until has to poop and does both at the same time.
• Strong Type - Bangs tool on side of urinal to remove drops.
• Drunken Type - Pulls out tool, sees two, puts one away, and pees in trousers.
• Embarrassed Type - Covers tool with both hands and pees through fingers.
• Cock-Eyed Type - Stands in one cubical and pees in next one.

Holiday Tattoo

A girl gets a tattoo of Santa Claus on one thigh and a turkey on the other. She wants to show that there is something good to eat in between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Camel Betting

Two guys are on duty at a french foreign legion fort. One says to the other one, "See that camel over there? I'll bet you I can make him jump 30 feet in the air. The other guy says "No way". The first guy walks around to the back of the camel with two bricks, reaches in between the camel's legs and crashes the bricks together. The camel jumps 30 feet in the air. A couple of days later the first guy says to the second guy, "I bet you I can make that camel nod his head yes, then shake his head no." The second guy says, "You got me last time, but there's no way you can make that dumb animal nod his head yes then shake it no." The first guy takes the same two bricks, walks around to the front of the camel, holds up the bricks and says, "Remember what I did last time?". (Camel nods). "Want me to do it again?"