Single Celled Lawyer

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an amoeba?
A: One wears a tie.

Leaving money for the dead

A Brooklyn lawyer, a used car salesman and a banker were gathered by a coffin containing the body of an old friend. In his grief, one of the three said, "In my family, we have a custom of giving the dead some money, so they?ll have something to spend over there. "They all agreed that this was appropriate. The banker dropped a hundred dollar bill into the casket, and the car salesman did the same. The lawyer took out the bills and wrote a check for $300.

Always the Lawyer

A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered 'no' to the question. The next question, intended for those who answered the preceding question with a 'yes', was "why?" Nevertheless, the lawyer answered it, "Never got caught."