Lawyer and Sperm

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a sperm?
A: At least a sperm has a one in a million chance of becoming a human being.

Lawyers

A man calls his lawyers office. When the receptionist answers the phone he asks to speak to Mr. Taylor, his lawyer.The receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but Mr. Taylor died last week." The man says nothing and hangs up the phone. The next day he calls the office and again asks for Mr. Taylor. The receptionist says, "Sir, I told you yesterday that Mr. Taylor has died." The man again says nothing and hangs up the phone. The next day he calls the office again and asks for his lawyer. The receptionist gets angry and says "Sir, I have told you for two days that Mr. Taylor has passed away. Why do you continue to call?" The man then answers "I like hearing good news when I call my lawyer's office."

Lawyer on a Bike

Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle.